Three days overdue, bobble-heads, and cranky monkeys

Waiting really sucks. I'm not good at waiting on the best of days. For anything. This is THE most important thing I've ever had to wait for, and let's just say it's making me REALLY sucky. The continuous pain is adding to the 'suck-factor' as well. Something always seems to hurt. Yes, I'm pathetic. Yes, you SHOULD feel sorry for me. Yes, I would like to go cry to my mommy... My hubby discovered a few days ago just how sensitive and cranky I am right now. After spending an hour cooking dinner, with my back aching, he had the nerve to inform me that he didn't want to eat because he wasn't hungry. The pot of noodles almost went flying across the room in the direction of his head...Much crying ensued (even at this late stage in the game, hormones are running rampant) and he knows NEVER to say again 'I'm not hungry' after his wife has slaved over his dinner. Well, he can say it again but then I'll boycott cooking dinner from here to all eternity...

The continuous weight gain is driving me a bit batty as well. Until this baby comes out, I fear it will never stop! How much weight gain, you ask? Humpf. I'm not sharing. No way, no how. Let's just say it's A LOT, and as far as I'm concerned it's not a very 'nifty' number. Nor was it very nifty when the hubby and I went for breakfast this morning and I almost didn't fit between the seat and the table. (both were fixed to the floor and could not be adjusted) My belly was pressed right up against the table. Yup. That was a pretty picture. My self-esteem is not having a very great week...

In the past week, I've had two doctor's appointments. Last week there was not much hope. She figured I'd be in for the LONG haul. Swell. Just what every fat pregnant woman wants to hear. My hubby commented after last week's appointment that he thinks my doctor has 'magic' hands, because after only a few seconds of 'kneading' my belly she can tell which way the baby is positioned. Yes, she's a bloody miracle worker. If she was so great she'd have caused me to deliver by now! Sigh. Don't mind me. I told you waiting has made me quite cranky. Okay, I'm actually a bit crotchety because of her instructions at today's appointment. Double sigh. (Mom and mom-in-law, just skip to the next paragraph, okay? The next couple of lines contain graphic content that are not meant for either of our parents to read. Ever. I mean it!) After 'stirring' things up a bit (highly uncomfortable but not as bad as the internal exam from two weeks ago), she told us what else we could do to get labour moving along. Now, it's not so much that I was oblivious to the instructions she was about to give us (a number of other people have given the same advice), it was the AMOUNT that she 'prescribed.'
Dr: "You can try Castor oil, but it will give you diarrhea which will increase the prostaglandins in your body. This helps to dilate your cervix. Or you can have sex. THREE TIMES TODAY SHOULD DO THE TRICK."
Me: (really no words could be said. My mouth hangs open...)
Hubby: (HUGE grin on his face) "Doc, you've just made my day!"
Me: (still no words.)

Moving right along. At least I hope things are... I received an email this past week, indicating that unless I submitted an assignment for one of my courses (that quite honestly was so damn long and tedious I thought I'd just NOT do it. There really was no time to do it during my practicum, which is when it was due.), I'd receive a failing grade. I was a bit surprised as the assignment was only worth about 25% and I thought I'd still pass the course even if I didn't do it, because I did well on my other assignments. Apparently not. APPARENTLY, in education if even ONE assignment is not turned in, you receive a failing grade. Bloody hell. My instructor waited until three days before my due date to inform me of this. This led to a minor meltdown/hissy-fit as I realized that I'd have to get the damn thing done. And fast. Or so I thought, when I was still thinking that I wasn't going to make it to my due date. (funny how deluded I was...) I'm pleased to report that I finished it yesterday. Yippee! It was a really flaky/ridiculous assignment. It was for my art and drama course and I had to answer a set of questions that I felt were rather pointless. It also involved drawing, which I'm normally not adverse to. I did skip one question though. The question instructed me to go and 'play' with someone, and then draw the experience. (I don't think my instructor would have liked me to sketch the kind of 'playing' I've been doing lately...) I was then asked to write about this experience, and to describe whether or not I was 'in the zone'? Come on! I'm pretty sure I'm not the only student who skipped this question.

The baby's room is almost complete. We're cutting it close, I know. Oh well. The furniture was all set up and in place, but now it's dismantled and strewn around our living room. No, I didn't get angry and display super-human strength..., my hubby is painting the baby's room. It has turned out to be a bigger pain than we had expected. Actually, I'm not quite sure WHY we expected it would be a smooth process, as it NEVER is when we paint a room. Something always pops up. Our house is bloody old and the former owners used an oil-based paint, which is a royal pain to paint over. You have to buy special primer because otherwise any new paint put on will chip off. Last week I finally scraped off the wallpaper, which is never any fun. People who put up wallpaper should be shot. I'll never, ever, put wallpaper up in any house I live in. Even when I'm a little old granny and want to surround myself with images of flowers. But I digress. We were going to use a pail of paint that I had bought almost two years ago, when the room was supposed to be an office for me and thoughts of babies were just that, thoughts. Well, we tested a corner (which is when we, I mean my hubby, discovered that we had to prime the walls) and decided that we weren't quite sure about the colour. It looked kind of like a shade of caramel/brown. Not very babyish. So yesterday we picked out a new colour which I INSIST is green, kind of like sea foam. My hubby is adamant that it is blue. I think he is colour-blind. He thinks I'M colour blind. One of us is, and I'm pretty sure it's not me.

Wow. Who knew I could write that much about painting a room? What the hell? When did I get old and start talking about painting? I went to a friend's house yesterday, and house renovations and discussions of babies consumed a large part of our conversation. (I tried to limit the amount I talked about baby-related issues, but her sister is pregnant and her sister-in-law just had a baby so it was hard to avoid! Not my fault!) We were both slightly aghast. Our conversations used to revolve around who did what (or whom...) at the previous night's party, while nursing a cup of coffee. Coffee is still central to our chats, but the level of gossip seems to be subsiding. Sigh. Mademoiselle K, the worst has happened. We're grown-ups now. GASP.

The thought that I'm now a grown-up is slightly depressing. But I guess becoming a mom tends to do that to people? The grown-up part, not the becoming depressed part... (although some people might make an argument in favour of the latter...). I'm going to have to be all responsible and crap. Ick. However, there are ways to become a responsible, barf, adult, while still retaining some part of my former goofy self. I refuse to release my inner-child. She's here to stay. Plus I need her for when I teach, she helps me to relate to my students. (you said 'poop!' hahaha) A few days ago my inner-child burst out and started doing bobble-head impersonations. My extra, um, girth, works really well with this! I started to waggle my head back and forth and looked at my hubby and said 'I'm a bobble-head'. Giggling ensued on both our parts. I've still got it damn it! My daughter will be thoroughly amused, I just know it....

She is still quite active in my belly. I keep telling her that if she is feeling squished then she should just head on out. She's already ignoring me...

Hopefully my next post will be postpartum, when I'm wide awake and continue to have mountains of free-time, nursing and typing at the same time. Hahahahaha.....