Four more days. Delivering early WAS wishful thinking....

This past week time has stood still. I know I should be enjoying the time off to 'relax,' at least that is what everyone tells me (by the way, the word relax is my LEAST favourite word EVER. Typically speaking, if I'm told to relax, my reaction is usually just the opposite). But to be quite honest....I've been just a little bit bored. I haven't really known what to do with myself. No assignments due, no schedule to follow, no students around to ask inane questions...I know, I know. It sounds ideal, right? Wrong. I can handle a few days of 'nothingness,' but after, shudder, 'relaxing' all I'm left to do is wait and think. And listen to my hubby snore in his chair when he's supposed to be reading... Oh, and watch TLC's 'The Baby Story.' That tends to get repetitive though, and I find myself talking to the parents on the TV ('bumper pads in the crib? Don't you know that's verboten now? Your baby could suffocate!) in an effort to entertain myself. [SIDE NOTE: the baby story is on right now and the woman's doula is in her face, holding her chin, telling her to go 'ha ha hoooo'. That looks BEYOND irritating. a) get the hell out of my face is what I would think, and b) does 'ha ha hooo' really sound like a natural noise to make? It sounds more like something you'd say at Halloween. As in 'ha ha whoooo, is that knocking at my door?']

If I was more mobile, perhaps this past week wouldn't have felt so long? (and if I'm overdue I WILL turn into a screaming banshee) As it is, I literally have to roll myself off the couch. Visualize that. It's all very stealthy. Roll onto side, swing legs one at a time onto floor. Push self up and get mentally prepared to haul myself off the oh so very low, old, granny couch. It's quite a slow process. I was informed yesterday, as I sat on the edge of the couch with my legs wide open and my belly hanging between them (yup, can't remember the last time I could actually close my legs properly - I'm such a lady), that I rather resembled a SUMO WRESTLER. Thanks honey. You're such a dear.

I have read many books, etc, about being pregnant (some may say I've read TOO much), and almost all of the literature indicates that in the last few weeks leading up to birth less fetal movement will be felt, because there is less room for the baby to move. Who are they kidding? Does that really sound like a logical argument? I'm feeling MORE movements then ever before, and I think it is PRECISELY because there is less room that I now feel EVERYTHING, all, day, long. This is good though, because I'm supposed to 'count' how many movements she has in an hour or during a 12 hour period. It should be about three movements in three hours. Right. I've stopped counting. I tried to count once and then I lost track. It's more like 30 movements in an hour. Especially if she has hiccups, or if I can see/feel her heart beating. (super neat!) My doctor said there is no such thing as a baby that is TOO active in the womb, but I wonder if it's possible that I have the most energetic baby yet to be born. I think the hubby and I are going to have some very INTERESTING days ahead of us. ('honey, it's your turn to chase her around the block...')

As I mentioned, being at home without much to do has given me A LOT of time to think. I keep thinking about what the future will bring, and what I've missed while being pregnant. (and inevitably, at least ten times a day, I am fixated with thoughts of just how painful labour will feel. ugh. Please have a small head, little one. Because I look over at your daddy's head and I cringe.) Right. Focus. (crap. pain. hopefully not both at the same time...) Okay, things that I've missed about not being pregnant: alcohol (this list is NOT in any sort of order. Just so you know...alcohol is just ONE of the things I miss, NOT the #1 thing I miss. Honestly.), long walks, sleeping (on my back), breathing normally (supposedly I snore now. I think my hubby is a liar), seeing my feet, ab muscles (I think I used to have them). Having days without hip/back/leg/stomach/joint pain.

I've also thought about things I want my daughter to know about me:

• I like to sing. A lot. But I don't know the words to most songs that I attempt to belt out. She'll probably hate me for it at some point.
  
• I'm insanely stubborn. God help her if she tries to argue with me. (or lie - I have ways of knowing...muhaha. eerie sixth sense. Right honey? Damn facial tics, hey?)
  
• Sometimes I can cook and bake, sometimes I can't. It either turns out really well or it burns. I also like to experiment with different ingredients, much to my hubby's disgust. (tuna is a good healthy ingredient in pasta sauce, and trust me, you can't really even taste it!)
  
• I hate cleaning, but I plan to teach her to love it. Not sure how I'm going to do that... And no dear, I don't think that yelling and saying that she is a slob will really teach her anything. Trust me. (Sweet pea, your daddy is a neat freak. Don't worry, we'll deal with him together...)
  
• I'm not comfortable with being touched/hugging/affection, etc., but I plan to hug her a lot and tell her that I love her everyday. I hope. I mean, I WILL. Even if she's pukey and covered in poop.
  
• Speaking of poop, she'll realize that I talk quite openly about it. She'll probably hate me for that too....This will lead to her discovery that I can be very blunt and not too many topics are off limits for me. She'll either appreciate this or be mortified by it (her daddy is usually annoyed by it). Only time will tell.

"Time keeps on ticking, ticking, into the future..." Couldn't it tick just a little bit faster? (but then slow down again once she is born...)