32 weeks, 8 months large, and 55 days until I'm due.

I've decided that my little bundle of joy currently residing under my ribs has developed a personality already. She (yes she - not a shy one during the ultrasound - legs wide open for all the world to see her in all of her, um, glory), is already like her mom (NOT the legs wide open part). By this I mean that she is a little contrary monkey. She will be kicking up a storm in my belly and I'll call her daddy over to feel all of the commotion, and she...just...stops...moving. Why does she do this? She's making a liar out of me already.

I also try to make little deals with her. I mean really, what's wrong with trying to rationalize with a baby who hasn't even been born yet? Ahh....high standards for her already. She's doomed. But seriously, the conversation with her through my belly goes like this: "okay little one. Mommy has an exam to write today. Please just sleep through it okay? Because when you're moving around in my belly, I can't concentrate. I can't think. I can't focus. All I can think is, 'awww, my baby is moving.' Sweet pea, this is not conducive to passing my exam. So, I need you to stay as still as possible, okay? " These aren't unreasonable things to ask an unborn child, are they? Well, my efforts at negotiation didn't work anyway. I had to endure my little one suffering through baby hiccups for the first fifteen minutes of my exam. Try writing about "socio-economic gradients" in schools when your belly is bouncing every two seconds. And your bladder is full. Sigh.

All that said, we are having fun together already. At least, I think we are. I told my hubby yesterday that we were 'playing'. To which he got that funny look on his face like he thought he may need to commit me sooner than he thought he would.... But seriously. I poked my belly. She poked back. We did this for a few minutes. I believe I was poking her elbow. Come to think of it - maybe we weren't playing. Maybe I was just annoying the crap out of her.

This past week I had an appointment with an obstetrician. Not MY obstetrician, but one of the other members of the OB team. It was the first time I was going to meet him (the part that he is a male was not sitting well with me). I get to the office and I'm told that he has a med student with him, and do I mind? What can I really say to that? I'm a student myself - it would be hypocritical to deny another student a learning opportunity, wouldn't it? Well...it was a bit of a comedy of errors. This little bit med student walks into the exam room and asks the usual questions. But instead of asking me how far along I am she looks at the 'roto-wheel' that tells the doctor how far along a woman is based on her last period. It appears as though she is having trouble figuring it out, so I tell her that I'm due on May 3rd, and that I'm just about 32 weeks along (two days shy at this point). She continues to stare at the wheel and then tells me I'm only 31 weeks. My comment about being 'just about' 32 weeks went over her head. Good listening skills doc. I'm then asked to get up on the exam table where she attempts to find my blood pressure. It took FOREVER. My hand was going numb because the cuff was too tight on my arm. Then comes the fun part of lying down so she can find the baby's heart beat with the doppler machine. Before try doing that though, she starts pushing and poking at my belly. This is the first time that anyone has done this during an exam, so I look at my hubby, eyebrow cocked, as if to say "WTF?" She does this without telling me what she is doing. My guess is that she is trying to figure out how the baby is lying, but I decide to wait until after hearing the heartbeat to ask what the point of all the poking was. She gets the doppler machine, and I wait, and wait, and wait. I know that our little one is fine because she's kicking up a storm at this point (I think all the poking pissed her off too), but the med student still can't find the heartbeat. FINALLY she finds it, then measures my belly, and FINALLY she is done. Longest prenatal exam ever. I ask the little bit med student how the baby is laying, and she says 'head down'. I respond with 'are you sure?', as I was pretty sure the baby is lying across my belly, not head down. FINALLY the 'real' OB came back in and had to REDO everything the med student had done. I guess he was ensuring that all of her measurements, etc were correct. Well....NONE of them were. She had measured my heart rate too high, my fundal height too low, and she was WAY off on how the baby was lying. Just for the record, mom does know best and I was 100% correct about the baby's position. Her head is on my left side, her bottom is under my right rib, and she is facing inwards. (Note to baby: feel free to turn ANY TIME NOW. I can't birth you back first) Needless to say, all attempts will be made to ban med students from the delivery room. I can just see it now. Med student: "the baby's heartbeat is up! Fetal distress! Cesarean section, NOW!" Actual doctor: "The baby just has hiccups."

Tomorrow I begin the second block of my teaching practicum. I should be looking forward to it, but I am DREADING it. I will be in my practicum until a week before I am due, and I think this will be the biggest test of my patience and energy level. My biggest fear is that I will deliver early, or that my water will break in the classroom. I know that the odds of that are slim to none, but there is still a chance it could happen. If it does, in an effort to not panic my students, I have decided to tell them that I peed myself. Really. It is the easiest option! There are a few students in the class who have accidents every now and then, so I figure I can say "see, Mrs. P ('P' haha) has accidents too!" The alternative is that the students will ask a million questions that I'm not quite prepared to answer. (A few of the questions already asked: "How is the baby coming out?", "You have to be 20 to have a baby, right?", "Why is there a baby in your belly?") So, right, not prepared to discuss going into labour with children who are 6 and 7. Well, we'll see how this week goes. Hopefully I survive it (cross your fingers!) and can write all about the trials and tribulations of the first week....